客途秋恨（国语版）

喜欢的细节：
15岁的晓恩在菜场看到买东西的老人，回忆起和爷爷一起逛菜场的情形。

夏日午后，小女孩趴在爷爷肚子上午休。长大后的晓恩看着中风在床的爷爷，想着：这样苍老的肚子恐怕再也承受不了这个孙女的重量了。——泪奔

母亲在家乡的车站轻声地用日语道：“我回来了。”旋即觉得自语有些失态——那一刻，才不会记得计较自己的生活是否体面。

墙上山口百惠的海报。

现实和回忆在相关情形的引带下交织，揭示故事的全貌。很经典的叙事。

不大理解的：

母亲的变化（从澳门的小媳妇，到香港的麻将师奶，再到后面虚荣的师奶），父亲的态度，其中的矛盾和复杂交待的不够，母亲因为一次归国之旅后的痛哭暂得解脱（让晓恩回去看爷爷奶奶）显得太轻而易举了。

舅舅的中国话突然长进了。

也可以看得出以母女关系为主线想顺带的东西也很多，父辈的对乡土的向往，红小兵对父辈的反咬，香港时事的变化等等，包得太多太紧。

    喜欢许鞍华，应该是在多年之前的一个黄昏，静静地看了《半生缘》的唏嘘之后。
    虽说将张爱玲的小说搬上银幕，总是难免惹得一身诟病；而且她还不止一次地知难而进。然而相比于《倾城之恋》所遭到的冷遇，《半生缘》至少也可以达到毁誉参半的地步了。
    其实我本人比较欣赏许鞍华的这次尝试，尽管仍然无法像原著那般让人欲哭无泪，却也似乎找到了字里行间的一丝感觉：那一低头的冷清与羞涩，那一转身的华丽和寂寞……吴倩莲的曼桢与梅艳芳的曼璐尤其印象深刻。记得后来和朋友一起看她的专访，她说自己很庆幸当年决定破除万难从香港移师上海来拍这部电影，事实证明，这一步没有错。我当时在想，值得庆幸的应该是我们。
    之后的《女人四十》、《男人四十》再次让我领略到她在香港、乃至华人影坛特有的美丽与哀愁。没有呼天抢地，没有歇斯底里；貌似平平淡淡，实则如泣如诉；许多情绪都只是一笔代过，并不刻意地对之进行渲染，常常在镜头之中追求一种“此时无声胜有声”的境界。

    《客途秋恨》，这是我最新看过的一部许鞍华的作品，却是我的收藏中她的最老的片子了。同样是一个黄昏，同样是一个人静静地看完，沉淀下来的，是一丝淡淡的乡愁和伤感，一股浓浓的母女温情。据说这部电影带有半自传的性质，许鞍华的母亲就是当年战乱滞留在华的日本女子，怪不得如此感同身受啊。

    影片的第一个镜头是一个自行车轮的定格，然而是经过处理了的，不仔细看根本看不出来——其实仔细看也看不出，还以为一面沉静的湖水上微微泛起了涟漪。直到影片真正开始，才发现车轮一转，小恩（张曼玉）骑着单车出现在我们面前。
    这是小恩在伦敦读大学的最后一年，她甚至已经拿到了BBC面试的通知，却最终因为赶去参加妹妹小惠的婚礼，放弃了这一难得的机会，回到了阔别的香港。正所谓“近乡情更怯”，小恩的返乡却因为自身的经历，更有着与众不同的愁绪。影片于是在这里开始穿插许多回忆性的镜头，并从此将整个情节放在回忆与现实的交错中展开，传递着一种怀旧和伤感。
    回到香港与母亲葵子（陆小芬）的第一次交流，便不难看出这一对母女之间关系的复杂与微妙。影片的张力便在这里。

    原来葵子是一个日本人，抗战结束之后染病为一名中国军官（李子雄）所救，因感恩而独自随夫留在中国生活。由于对中国语言和风俗习惯的陌生而被婆家冷落，心中没有安全感，空虚，寂寞，甚至亲生的女儿小恩也和自己有着不小的隔阂。直到随夫迁离婆家广州，才逐渐投入香港妇女的生活圈，变成一个喜欢打牌玩乐的居家女人。
    长女小恩从小便与爷爷奶奶有着很深的感情，对母亲却一向感情冷淡，在母亲负气与父亲迁至香港之时，她仍然愿意留在广州生活。等到成年之后搬回香港，却已经发现与母亲、与父亲、与这个家有些格格不入了。绝望的她决定背弃这个家庭，一个人搬去学校宿舍里住。即使是父亲在她临走前告诉她母亲是日本人这一消息，年轻的她也无法理解这与她们冷漠的母女之情有什么关系。
    毕业后小恩便直接去了伦敦读大学。香港的家对她而言，似乎只是一个码头，一个渡口；而自己，就像一个永远的旅客，无牵无挂；也只有广州，才能勾起内心深处那一抹马不停蹄的忧伤。也正是如此，我才理解了小恩为什么无论在哪里，都总是万分关注电台那边的中国，那边的广州，以及电视里的文革。

    其实小恩对葵子的感情是复杂的，并不仅仅因为从来没有得到母爱的眷顾而怨恨，也不仅仅因为没有陪在父母身边尽孝而歉疚。在改善母女关系这一问题上，她无疑是主动的、耐心的，至于最初无法取得相应的效果，那完全是因为时机不对。
    机会来自妹妹小惠的远嫁。
    小惠出嫁移民去了加拿大，无可奈何的小恩只能头一回一个人陪着母亲生活。刚开始的那段日子无疑是一种煎熬，幸而小恩是耐心的，在葵子做出赴日本省亲的决定时，不放心的女儿毅然同母亲一起，踏上了另外一个异乡的旅程。也只有到了日本，当周遭的一切突然变得陌生——陌生的风物，陌生的语言，陌生的人情，只能俯首埋声，孤单惶恐——小恩才彻底明白了母亲当年的处境，才理解了常人所无法理解的那种“客途秋恨”。
    影片的高潮是在母女二人深情的依偎中出现的，那轻轻的相拥，足以化解任何藏埋在心底的恩怨情仇，足以沟通任何母亲与子女的心灵！
    最后的小恩，终于得以再次回到广州这一心中唯一的“家”，得以见到了自己深爱着的爷爷和奶奶，尽管此时的爷爷由于受到文革的迫害而中风。也只有回到这里，小恩才知道这里才是自己永远的家！
    这时耳边响起了小恩的一段独白，也是这部电影的最后一声叹息：
   
    “当我看着妈妈走远的背影，我觉得我好象了解了她的心情，一度我不也是绝望地背弃过什么吗？只是那年我才15岁，而妈妈已经是快50岁的人了，她还有机会像我这样得到赎解吗？”

    我不是女孩，或许不能理解一些母女之间感情特有的复杂，但这却并不妨碍我喜欢这部电影；就好像许多女孩都不可能和我一样，对《大河恋》中的父子、兄弟之情有着那样真实、切身的体验，这也依然不能影响她们对它的热爱。

    后来才知道，“客途秋恨”这个片名，出自粤曲名伶白驹荣的南音；而台湾有一个名叫曾淑勤的台湾女歌手，也曾唱过一首叫做《客途秋恨》的歌曲，歌词很凄美，甚合我心，可以作结：

    秋天的风 就这样吹了一生
    忧伤的味道尝到现在
    生命是一条任性的河川
    急急缓缓 甜甜酸酸

    秋天的恨 躲在她的裙摆
    忧伤的眼神藏到现在
    命运是一粒客途的尘埃
    朝夕不定 海角天涯

Song of the Exile reveals its veil with an extreme close-up of a bicycle wheel, accompanied by Hueyin’s sentimental narrations. Hueyin, the narrator and one of the protagonists, isa Sino-Japanese (ethnically) studying in London. Aiko, Hueyin’s mother, is a Japanese who has been living in Macau and Hong Kong since the end of the Second World War.Hueyin’s grandparents, in reliance of their illusionary imagination on Mainland China, choose to settle down in Guangzhou in the shadow of Cultural Revolution. Seemingly all the main characters in Song of the Exile are in displacement from motherlands and resettlement in host lands (Yue). This essay will analyze the displacement and its reconstruction of identity in the context of Song of the Exile.

As to Hueyin, a subtle implication on her contradicted ethnicity and nationality arises when she is typing another resume after she receives the rejection letter from BBC. The heading of her resume indicates that she was born in Hong Kong (“Place of Birth: Hong Kong”) but she is a British (“Nationality: British”). The scene not only epitomizes the colonial history of Hong Kong, but also portrays the discrimination Hueyin encounters as an ethnical Chinese. She should have been treated equally as her local friends on application to BBC in terms of nationality. Yet more often she is isolated in the pub and unintentionally alienated when her friend mentioned about using chopsticks, which symbolizes a classical imagination of orientalism. All these subtle fragments pile up, Hueyin gradually realizes that although she lives in London and speaks fluent English, she still belongs elsewhere. She is indeed “an exile in a foreign land” (Erens).

That’s probably why Hueyin erases her resume and instead types a farewell letter to her friends in London. The opening scenes depicting the landscapes and culture heritages of London, especially appealing to most people in Hong Kong at 1990s after the demonstrations on Tiananmen Square. The image of London is somehow embellished in the diffusing suspicion of returning to socialistic China. In terms of Hong Kong, the model of One Country Two Systems “includes Hong Kong as a part of China but excludes it from legal structure” (Yue) and economic coordination. All those British culture and heritages left in Hong Kong cannot be simply replaced like the replacement in nationality derived from the handover, not to mention the reconstruction of recognition of Chinese identity. It seems that Hong Kong itself, like Hueyin, also lives here but belongs elsewhere.

The same displacement occurred to Aiko,Hueyin’smother, who has been living in Macau and Hong Kong for most of her life. She tells her older brother how difficult her life is in a “foreign country” upon reaching her hometown in Japan. As a Japanese living in Macau and Hong Kong after the Sino-Japanese War, Aiko was prejudiced and even despised by Hueyin’s grandparents and neighbors. She speaks Japanese. She is more in favor of Japanese cuisine. She always reminds herself and Hueyin of the reputation and wealth of her family in Japan, which constitutes an explicit contrast to her floundering life in Hong Kong and Macau, trying to adapt to local lifestyle. When returning to Japan, she picks up her mother tongue, her Japanese name and all other Japanese ritual habits, thus reaffirming her identity as Japanese. She seems to be no longer the “otherness” but one of “the same” with similar social practices and collective acknowledgement of identity.

However, the authenticity of favorite food, the familiarity of language and the comfort of coming back home do not last for long. When Aiko deliberately shows off her well-educated daughter studying in London to her relatives in an attempt to create a “glorious return”, her relatives respond in indifference and ethno-centrality. The Japanese food she used to favor feels cold and tasteless. She even complains about the traditional hot baths for their impracticality and inconvenience. Those yeas living in Macau and Hong Kong unselfconsciously alter he cultural identity. “The years of acculturation in Hong Kong have changed her attitude towards the homeland” (Yue). For Aiko, the journey to Japan is supposed to be a resume of her original identity, but it turned out to be a reminder of her new cultural intimacy towards Hong Kong created by her life of displacement.

At the end of Song of the Exile, Hueyin’s grandfather, who is severely beaten by the Red Guards in Cultural Revolution claiming to topplebourgeoisie, mentions about sending the book of Song Poetry to Hueyin in case she forgets the profound traditional Chinese culture. His reference to this particular period of divine Song Dynasty infers “the national sentiments of modernity, exile and reunification” (Yue) in the horrific shadow of Cultural Revolution. The poverty, brutality, and disorder in Guangzhou smash Hueyin’s grandparents’ fantastic illusion on homeland when they are in Macau. The distance from home procures an ideal to restore the original identity. Yet Hueyin’s grandparents have already become the “otherness” when they return. Only marginalization and hostility towards the Kuomintang’s nationalism embrace them.

In Song of the Exile, the elements and implications of displacement and resettlement constantly affirm and reshape the characters’ recognition of their own ethnic and cultural identities. As for Hong Kong, 15 years has passed by since the handover, seemingly it still belongs elsewhere. In a time of globalization, borders and boundaries may be easily blurred out and they are no longer obstacles for commerce and communications. However, frequent communication does not directly lead to mutual understanding between Mainland and Hong Kong. Conflicts may also arise. The recognition and reconstruction of Chines identity are far more difficult than the reconciliation between mother and daughter in Song of the Exile. As for Hong Kong cinema,local contents (food, language, cultural heritage) in Song of the exile seem to be “a nationalistic response to globalization” (Teo). Nonetheless, maintaining and distilling local features in the pressure of globalization“would not have been and still is not easy” (Yue) in 21st century.